Questions and Answers

A reply to a question from the last post. What does it mean to swoon a lady?
In a response to last month's article, someone asked what it means to swoon a lady. Honestly, there is no right or wrong answer to this. However, there are some things which do seem to pop up often whenever ladies talk about a fabulous experience they have.

Smile and make eye contact.

I am not talking about the plastered smile nor the creepy smile that sends ladies running off in the opposite direction. Smile sincerely and ladies would most likely smile back in return. Smiling = happiness. Easy enough yes? Ladies may be equally nervous too so smiling can go a long way into turning the dance into one that is fun and easy for both parties. Making eye contact is a sign of confidence and it shows engagement with the partner. Just be careful where you are looking!


Be a gentleman.

I can't say this enough. I have spoken to ladies who have revealed that they were totally swooned after dancing with gentlemen who made them feel like a woman. While that sounds a little abstract, they did mention about the gentleman providing a simple but clear lead throughout the dance while always taking care of her safety first. Like one lady put it, "I didn't have to think about anything at all. I just had to follow. Even if it was just a cross body lead turn, he would be there to catch me by the time I finished my turn. I felt very well taken care of."

Gentlemen also know how to keep a respectful distance from ladies and watch where their hands go. If the lady senses that the gentleman is being respectful, she would feel more comfortable with letting him into her space.

Conversely, ladies can spot a gentleman with questionable intentions instinctly and you can be sure, other ladies will know about it by the end of the night even if they have not danced with the man. I would suggest looking elsewhere if any gentleman had such intentions.


Be yourself.

Dancing is a form of expression. While there are moves, there is also room for personal expression. What may look stylish on another person may not be for you. As long as you play safe and nice, there is no harm in finding your personal style which may well become a trademark that ladies remember you for.

Have fun!

This is probably the most important point of all. Have good natured fun and your partner would have fun too. Ladies are more likely to feel swooned by a gentleman who's having fun and and including her too.

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Cat Muses - Fashion Etiquette

Dress to dance, not kill. Simple tips on how to dress to make social dancing a comfortable and safe experience for your partner and you.






by Catherine

Now before you get the wrong idea, I am not here to comment about how to look fashionable on the dance floor. I believe there are people out there who are much better at being the fashion police. Instead, here are some tips to make social dancing a pleasant and safe (yes, safe!) experience for your partner and yourself.

1. Dress Comfortably.

With all that hip action and tangling of arms in pretzel-like partnerwork, you would want to be sure that nothing gets in the way (e.g. a stiff shirt that would tear at the seams if you raised your arm) or out of the way (think wardrobe malfunction ala Janet Jackson style). Ladies, make sure your tops, straps and all are secure! Make that a double alert if you are wearing tube tops.

2. Bling Safely.

We all love to add some snazz to our outfits like we do to our moves but accessories can be hazardous on the dance floor. Here's a rough guide:

• Rings. Avoid wearing rings unless they are thin and smooth. Rings, especially those with stones protruding out, would likely scratch your partner's fingers in the midst of turns.
  
• Bangles & Bracelets. Bracelets with hanging trinkets may scratch your partner's face or get caught with clothing or hair. Bangles may fly right out of your arm or get caught with clothing. Hence, avoid if possible.
  
• Necklaces. Long hanging necklaces could give your partner a slap across the face so stick to necklaces that are short in length or closer to the neck.
  
• Earrings. Generally safe except for the really long ones that could get caught in ladies' hair which may result in a rather painful removal process.

The general rule is to avoid wearing anything sharp or could be potentially dangerous to your partner or yourself.

3. Beat The Heat (And The Sweat)

Social dancing can leave you breathless at the end of the night but it could also leave you with soaking wet with sweat by the time you step out of the club. While sweating may say how much fun you had on the dancefloor, it also says volumes about other things. Hence, try these:

• Invest in a deodorant. You have gotten all the right moves, the best smile and the sexiest styling imaginable so why let nature's natural odor response to sweat take away the smile on your partner's face? It is a form of courtesy to your partner as well.
  
• Bring along a towel or change of clothes. If you are aware that you tend to sweat more than usual after dancing, bring along a towel or change of clothes. Ever seen the gentlemen or ladies who walked into the club with one outfit and left with another? It's all in the name of making the dance more comfortable for your partner. Save the wet t-shirt look for the beach or a fashion magazine spread.
  
• Sexyback? While that back baring outfit is very sexy (oh don't we love to indulge ourselves and I am sure the men love it too), it can be a somewhat slippery and awkward experience for your partner when he goes into embrace or other positions that involve holding your back. Hence, look into the tip above or perhaps indulge a little less frequently? Keep that sexyback though!
  

The most important thing is to stay comfortable and dress safely. Outfits should enhance your moves and look on the dancefloor instead of impeding them or creating danger to yourself and others. Hope these notes help in making your social dance experience more pleasant for yourself and your partner!

EDIT 29 Oct 2008: Do read the comments for reader suggestions!

Catherine is currently an instructor with En Motion Dance School. She believes social dancing should be enjoyable and enjoys dancing as a form of expression. Leave a comment (preferred!) or contact her at catherine@dance-en-motion.com

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