Cat Muses - It's Not Just About Moves

Do you feel stressed out by having to remember moves for dancing? Do you find yourself constantly trying to learn new moves to impress the ladies? A lot of gentlemen seem to pay attention to moves, particularly turn patterns, in social dancing but are moves all there is to social dancing?

by Catherine

I notice some interesting occurrences while social dancing at times:

1) Gentlemen who would observe other gentleman dancing intently while trying to remember some of the cool moves executed.

2) Gentlemen who would apologize for ‘running out of moves’.

Now there is really nothing wrong with wanting to learn more moves. It’s really great to see that actually. However, whenever a gentleman apologizes to me in the middle of social dancing and for all reasons, for ‘running out of moves’, I get a big question mark in my head.

Why apologize?

I also notice how often gentlemen shy away from social dancing because of the thought of not having enough moves or feel ready to execute them and how sometimes gentlemen get stressed over moves. Isn’t it ironic to stay away from dancing just when doing more of it would actually help to advance more ease in doing it? Are moves really all there is to a fabulous dancer?

I may not be qualified to say what makes a fabulous dancer but from the perspective of an often appreciative audience, I would say a dancer who catches my eyes is one who captivates with his or her joy in dancing because end of the day, aren’t we all dancing to have fun and look good on the dance floor? For most of us, at least. Sure, the man with the intriguing moves captures attention but so does the confident man who his enjoying his dance and also having a great time with his partner.

If someone were to ask a lady for her most memorable dances, chances are she would reply “oh I liked dancing with him because the lead was so smooth”, “because he was so easy to follow”, “he really took care of me” and get this one: “because he made me feel like a lady.”

I remember something a teacher I respect and some fellow dancers said. In the absence of exact memory, it went something like: “Ladies may not remember you for all the complex moves but they certainly would remember if you hurt them.” While it is not exactly meant to be a commandment, it does say that it is important to take care of your lady. On a side note, it is something I personally believe in. Other ladies may beg to differ but I would feel more comfortable with a lead who leads comfortably than a lead who constantly tries complex moves with disregard for the lady’s safety. Of course, sometimes we do get our feet stepped on and the gentlemen can’t save us in time but I think most ladies are pretty forgiving. I can’t remember the guy who gave me a bruised toe nor the guy who left my elbow numb all night.

Social dancing, like most social activities, is meant to be social. This does not only refer to the setting in which we meet new people and dance with different people. Social dancing is like a conversation between two people. Instead of words, we have lead and follow. That being said, I also see one-sided conversations on the dance floor.

So what does this mean for the gentleman?

I am not discouraging gentlemen from learning new moves. In fact, it gives the ladies as much joy in being surprised by a new move as much as the gentlemen derive from executing it. Finding new moves allows one to explore new horizons in dancing. However, it isn’t everything to dancing. Social dancing is about dancing someone else so dance with your partner. I repeat, WITH your partner. The same goes for both gentlemen and ladies.

We call the women ladies and men, gentlemen. So all one needs to be a great lead is to be a gentleman-respect her personal space, take care of her and swoon her! Most people just want to relax and let their hair down for some fun so take good care of each other, watch your dance space, relax, have fun and have a great conversation!

Catherine is currently an instructor with En Motion Dance School. She believes social dancing should be enjoyable and enjoys dancing as a form of expression. Leave a comment (preferred!) or contact her at catherine@dance-en-motion.com